There's a J In there… Somewhere!

I had an ‘Ah Ha’ moment yesterday…

I realised I don’t want to ‘do business’. I don’t want to grow to a ‘6 figure income’ or whatever the ‘experts’ say we should strive for. I don’t want to post on social media every day or ‘charge what I’m worth’. I don’t want to niche or narrow my offerings. I simply don’t want to…

And I wonder if this is why things don’t happen, or if they’re not working for me.

I have passions and I am working out what I actually enjoy doing. But I don’t want to ‘do business’.

I like being booked by libraries where I can go and do my thing and get paid without worrying about marketing as the promotion of the session is up to the library.

I like writing my books and putting them out there, then having most of the promotion when I go to markets and talk to people on the spot to tell them about my books.

I like having conversations with people that are ‘off the cuff’ at markets or even at the workshops I run, rather than something more structured.

I like having a variety of things that I do including writing books, blog posts, etc, and doing writing groups, and publishing support, even some of the admin tasks I do…

I don’t mind doing my own bookkeeping and managing things under my ABN as an independent contractor.

What I don’t like is ‘doing business’.

I don’t like trying to be online and visible. I don’t like forcing growth. I don’t feeling that I have to be bigger or better or generally someone different from who I am.

I remember back to the early days of Business Mums Network. I did things that felt right, they may have been quirky but somehow they worked. There was a steady growth and it was manageable. It was when I started growing thing and tried to ‘do business’ that I started getting frustrated and it led to burn out. At the time, I thought it was what I wanted because I was told that is what I should want…

I feel like I’m at the same point now.

I am told that I should want to be bigger, to constantly improve myself (is there really that much wrong with me & the way I do things?), to be better, to want to do things like speak in front of a stadium crowd or earn a ‘six figure salary’ or whatever.

I’m realising that that is not what I actually want.

I’m not quite sure what to do with this information right now… I’m sure I’ll work it out, but for now, I’m going to sit with this for a while as I do still need to pay the rent!