I’ve been reflecting a lot on messages that seem to be ingrained in my brain, and one is around being good enough to be chosen.
Recently, I have been frustrated by finding a rental property (and I have found one), however it’s a whole process where the landlord chooses the person they want to be a tenant in their property. It took a long time to find somewhere, and it really felt like I simply wasn’t good enough to be chosen.
This is one example. Another one as an adult is finding a job. An employer will choose you based on various things including your application and, possibly, an interview.
Both of these are things where I have little control over what the other person decides. I can write the best application in the world, but that won’t guarantee that I am chosen. When you send in multiple applications and are not chosen, then it can leave you feeling that you’re simply not good enough.
This has happened most of my life and the feelings of being chosen or not run deep.
When I was in year 7, I was chosen to be in the school play. I was one of only 2 year 7 students, so it was a big deal. Not only was I chosen, but for a little while I fit in with a group, or at least I thought I did.
Throughout high school, there were so many things to apply for, to be chosen for, from school productions to sports teams to student council. Other than sports, I started off putting my hand up for things, I was chosen for some things, and not for others. So often, I was given the message that to be chosen or to fit in with that group, I needed to work harder…
Don’t get me wrong, there were some amazing things I was chosen for. I was one of four students who were chosen to go on a student exchange to Tasmania in year 10, for example, as well as being chosen the winner of some amazing writing awards.
I am realising that there are so many things in life that are completely out of our hands as other people do the choosing. After a while, if we are doing everything we have been asked and still aren’t chosen, it can wear you down, whether you are a teen in high school or an adult looking for work or a house or whatever. It can be hard when you’re not chosen.
I’m not quite sure if I have any conclusions, it’s simply something that I’ve been mulling over lately…
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