I have never enjoyed Christmas Day. It’s been a day of people, food, noise, and food I don’t enjoy. It’s always been a struggle for me.
Over the last few years, I’ve realised how much of that is because I’m autistic and ADHD.
The complexity of the noise, the unfamiliar food, change of routine, being in a house that is not my own, having to have my mask firmly in place to be social and look like I’m having fun, it’s all exhausting.
A couple of days ago, I saw a post on social media talking about how all those traditions are important to someone, and it got me thinking.
I don’t enjoy Christmas day, one of the best was a few years ago when my kid and I spent the day building Lego instead of joining the extended family. However, all those traditions are important to my parents, especially to my mum. She loves having the family there and feeding all of us, and having us there for presents.
It’s also one of the few times I see my brother and his girlfriend as they live on the other side of the state to me.
Because the day is important to someone else, I make the effort to go down to be with the family.
I did a few things to accommodate myself.
I don’t drink, so I brought some alcohol-free wine to drink. I only ate what I wanted from the buffet. When I felt fatigue overcome me, a sure sign of a meltdown, I quietly went to a bedroom to lie down. I had a book with me and had some time reading to recharge. I also went home again in the evening rather than staying there for a few days.
I have also spent today, Boxing Day, hibernating and not talking to anyone much.
This is what I have needed to get through Christmas Day, when my ideal would be having a quiet day at home.
It is important to accommodate the needs of others, especially those I love.
For one day, I will allow myself to be uncomfortable and overwhelmed in order to make others comfortable.
It’s one day in the year.
For the next couple of days, I will be resting, hibernating, and recharging.
I also know that my family enjoyed the day and appreciated having me there, and that is important too.
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