When I was a teenager, there was a youth group activity where people took it in turns to be blindfolded, then were guided to do a series of activities. The idea of this freaked me out and I sat out. I was teased by others in youth group, though the leaders respected my preference and didn’t force me to do the activity. I don’t know what all the things were as I didn’t do it… it was also one of those moments when I felt like I should be able to take part and enjoy the evening, but I really didn’t.

There was a work ‘trust’ exercise at one point where people had to be blindfolded, and once again, I felt a complete sense of panic and refused to participate. This time, however, I was told by the trainers I was ‘letting the team down’ and I obviously didn’t trust my workmates. Honestly, trusting them wasn’t the issue.

Even games like pin the tail on the donkey left me feeling anxious.

I used to think my dislike of being blindfolded was to do with a feeling of being out of control. I hated the feeling of not knowing where my body was.

Recently, I learned about proprioception.

I wonder how much of the fact I hate being blindfolded comes down to poor proprioception. How much is that I don’t know where my body is in relation to the world around me that if I can’t see that world, the feeling totally freaks me out and I get all discombobulated. I already struggle to work out where my body is in relation to the world, one reason I keep bumping myself on things, however, take away being able to see things and it makes life even harder.

All my life, I have been given a hard time for not wanting to be blindfolded. Now I know I’m AuDHD, and learning about my brain, I am learning that I’m not all that weird. It also appears that not participating in activities where I am blindfolded was one time I set boundaries and stood up for my needs, even though I didn’t understand why I felt that way.

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