I have a chronic illness, and I’m starting a business.

This weekend, I went to a business bootcamp and it was fantastic, however I made the mistake on day 1 of being like everyone else and standing to network, sitting on the regular chairs, etc. By the end of the day I was nearly in tears as I was in so much pain.

So day 2 I put my health first. This meant sitting on the couch the organisers had set up for me all day and limiting the amount of time I was standing around.

Why am I sharing this here?

For the first time, I felt truly disabled and invisible. The first day showed my disability. The second day I felt invisible.

As I was sitting away from the tables, and wasn’t able to stand up with everyone else for networking, not many people spoke with me during the networking times. There was a real push about networking during the event, and the requirement to sit apart made this harder.

If ever you are at a networking event, please keep an eye out for those who may be invisible… Is there someone who is sitting apart for any reason, or struggling to join in, go up and talk with them.

A couple of people did make an effort to talk with me and it meant so much. For the most part, people just didn’t look past their table or those who were standing around.

Visibility matters and it means so much to those of us who feel invisible due to disability and chronic illness. It can also be a win win, you never know who you’ll meet just by seeing those people who are invisible at business events.

This is a message that is worth sharing to those who run business events, as well as those who attend them. Since this boot camp, I have been reluctant to attend events as I am not sure that they will be inclusive, and my health needs to come first.

At this event, when I was seated on the couch, I was not able to approach people, and even the organisers did nothing to ensure I was included.

Making sure that all participants are included is a simple way to ensure your event is a success for everyone who is in attendance, and often it’s those who are quiet are the ones who need someone to keep an eye out an approach them first.

I hope those who organise business events read this and work hard to make sure that no one feels invisible during their events (especially if they say ‘pair up with someone’, they make sure that everyone has someone to pair up with).

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When I arrived, I stood at the door for around 15 minutes. No one came up to speak to me and I didn’t know what was going on. I had a mini meltdown and spent time beating myself up about being overwhelmed, especially as I used to attend networking events all the time, and ran a business network myself! Until a lady came up to see if I was OK. She got me a glass of water and some tissues and chatted until I calmed down. She also walked in with me and helped me meet some people, making the whole thing less scary.

Overall, I am glad I was able to stay, it got me thinking of some tips for organisers of networking events to make their events more inclusive and easier for neurodivergent business owners. Note that these are based on my experiences and not all will apply to everyone.

1. Have someone on the door greeting people – This is something I made sure was at all the events I ran and the best ones I attended also had someone at the door. This was a person who had a job to tick of names, welcome people, hand out goodie bags or information if they were there, as well as letting people know what was happening and where to go.
2. Name tags – this may sound a bit old fashioned or too much like school, however name tags can be really helpful, especially in places that are loud and you may not immediately remember someone’s name or find the place is overwhelming so you forget. Having a simple name tag with the person’s name and business can also help get an idea of who to talk to for those of us who are told to look for a particular person or industry.
3. Drink options – if there is alcohol, have nice non-alcoholic options available and on display in the same way alcoholic are. Not everyone drinks wine for a variety of reasons and a business networking event is not usually a place to get drunk. It can be awkward asking where other drink options are, especially if staff are not obvious.
4. Labels for food – if you are serving food, include labels for what is on offer, including any allergens. Again, it can be awkward asking about allergens, especially if staff are not obvious.
5. Staff working the event – if there are staff working at the event, make it obvious. Whether it’s a simple thing like a name tag, a lanyard or a uniform. This can help attendees find someone if they have any questions about things like food and drink, what is happening on the night, or even directions to the bathroom.
6. Introduce people – keep an eye out for people on the fringes, those who are standing there and not talking to anyone. Go up to them and introduce yourself and bring them in to conversations. If the lady hadn’t stopped to ask how I was, I would have gone home! I’m not great at making the first move, especially in a room of people already talking who seem to know each other.
7. Agenda – having someone keep an eye on timing and letting people know when the formal part of the event is over (so they have permission to leave if needed) is helpful. The agenda doesn’t need to be public, having someone keeping an eye on time and what is happening, and making announcements, can help participants know what is going on.

This is by no means a complete list, however I hope that they may help others when planning networking events to help them be more inclusive. These are things that would have been really helpful for me at the event I went to on Friday night, and these are things that were at events I attended in the past.

Are there things you would add to this list?

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