I have a chronic illness, and I’m starting a business.

This weekend, I went to a business bootcamp and it was fantastic, however I made the mistake on day 1 of being like everyone else and standing to network, sitting on the regular chairs, etc. By the end of the day I was nearly in tears as I was in so much pain.

So day 2 I put my health first. This meant sitting on the couch the organisers had set up for me all day and limiting the amount of time I was standing around.

Why am I sharing this here?

For the first time, I felt truly disabled and invisible. The first day showed my disability. The second day I felt invisible.

As I was sitting away from the tables, and wasn’t able to stand up with everyone else for networking, not many people spoke with me during the networking times. There was a real push about networking during the event, and the requirement to sit apart made this harder.

If ever you are at a networking event, please keep an eye out for those who may be invisible… Is there someone who is sitting apart for any reason, or struggling to join in, go up and talk with them.

A couple of people did make an effort to talk with me and it meant so much. For the most part, people just didn’t look past their table or those who were standing around.

Visibility matters and it means so much to those of us who feel invisible due to disability and chronic illness. It can also be a win win, you never know who you’ll meet just by seeing those people who are invisible at business events.

This is a message that is worth sharing to those who run business events, as well as those who attend them. Since this boot camp, I have been reluctant to attend events as I am not sure that they will be inclusive, and my health needs to come first.

At this event, when I was seated on the couch, I was not able to approach people, and even the organisers did nothing to ensure I was included.

Making sure that all participants are included is a simple way to ensure your event is a success for everyone who is in attendance, and often it’s those who are quiet are the ones who need someone to keep an eye out an approach them first.

I hope those who organise business events read this and work hard to make sure that no one feels invisible during their events (especially if they say ‘pair up with someone’, they make sure that everyone has someone to pair up with).

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ADHD means your brain is wired differently, and so many aspects of life simply don’t suit our brains. We are not lazy, and we shouldn’t have to just ‘work harder’.

It took me until I got my AuDHD diagnosis to realise that life shouldn’t be hard work. Not only that, so many people aren’t spending all their time working hard to get through each day. It’s easy for them!

For many of us neurodivergent people, there are simple things that can be done to accommodate our needs, to make our lives a bit easier. Even something as simple as giving ourselves permission to get a cleaner if housework is something we struggle with.

The school system often isn’t set up for neurodivergent students. Classroom setups can be sensory overload, from the colourful displays to the noise during the day, not to mention being told to sit still and focus. This makes it harder to learn.

Workplaces often aren’t much better.

We are constantly told to just work harder, as if we’re not working really hard already.

We are told that we have to change, to do better, to be better. As if we’re not already doing that, and falling short.

Schools, workplaces, and society in general, make it really hard for us to get simple changes that can make our lives a little bit easier. So we can navigate the world and flourish, instead of trying to survive.

In my mind, ADHD is a disability because we are told to work harder to get through life. If society was set up so that we didn’t have to work harder for the same results, then those arguing that it’s not a disability would be right. Until then, someone needs to tell schools, workplaces and society that it is a disability and we need support.

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