One of the first things I started doing was packing up my bookshelves. As much as I love being surrounded by books, I don’t use them every day, so they were the easiest things to pack.

I have found it surprising how dysregulating this is.

Even simply sitting watching TV isn’t what it was as the shelves under it are empty of books!

I am realising that books and being surrounded them is part of what makes my space safe for me.

Having bookshelves overflowing with books, some I haven’t read yet, others I have read numerous times, ones I have read once and probably won’t read again, is regulating for me.

These books give me comfort, they make my space a home.

Being surrounded by books is my happy place.

I can’t cope with some bookshops where there is little space between shelves or they are dark and feel claustrophobic for me, but I like being surrounded by books in bookshops and libraries.

Looking around my space that is littered with packed boxes and empty bookshelves is incredibly dysregulating and I can’t wait to be in my new place and arranging those books on my shelves and making the space my home.

This is also something I think I knew in the back of my head, but didn’t have the words for before…

Living in a space with bookshelves is what I need. When I ask if a house has enough room for my bookshelves, it’s not just me joking about how many bookshelves I have, it’s actually important!

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A while ago, I realised that I could plug my iPad in to the car to listen to audiobooks as I drove.

Then my iPad had an issue, so I tried to do the same on my phone… it didn’t work too well! So I’ve started to listen to audiobooks old school, by borrowing CDs from the library.

I have enjoyed listening to them on CD as they autoplay when I start driving, so I can listen on shorter drives too (I didn’t always have my iPad with me).

I have noticed a few things since I made this change.

The first is that I’ve been able to read more books! Reading more books is always a good thing, after all, stories are my happy place.

The second is that I’ve been able to focus on driving much more. I don’t know what it is about listening to a story that helps keep me on track, but it’s working.

The third is that those long drives aren’t quite so tiring. Again, I don’t know what it is about listening to stories that helps keep me going, but it helps a lot, especially when driving at night.

I make sure I have a good selection of audiobooks that I can listen to, and I mix them up depending on what appeals to me at the time. I am considering contacting some of the libraries I visit and asking them to choose one or two for me to mix things up a bit as it’s harder to search for audiobooks on CD as it is on apps like Borrow Box.

I can’t listen to an audiobook when I’m not doing something else, and I have found they are a perfect compliment to a long drive.

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Author: Sam Matthews

Illustrator: Shaz Kennington

Category: Picture Book

Publisher: Lilly Pilly Publishing

Publication date: 14 November 2020

Blurb: Some people say I am oppositional, disrespectful and uncooperative. That’s the me you see. What you don’t see is WHY I act the way I do.

Have you ever wondered what autism feels like, on the inside?

This is my story

Review: The Me You Don’t See is written by Sam Matthews, a young autistic person. Sam shares his story of the things we don’t see about why he does the things he does. He explains that kisses feel like snails and his mind is like a fast car. He also explains things like why he doesn’t complete jobs when they are not fully explained, and many more everyday aspects of life.

The thing that makes this book so powerful is that it is Sam’s story told in his own voice, not someone else telling his story. Sam first wrote this when he was 10 and published it when he was 11!

This is a powerful story that acknowledges that this is just one person’s experience of living with autism, and a book that should be in libraries everywhere to give those of us without autism a glimpse of what life is like. It will help with understanding and empathy.

The illustrations by Shez Kennington are bright and fun, and are a wonderful addition to the story.

A book I highly recommend.

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Author: Kate Foster

Category: Middle Grade

Publisher: Walker Books

Publication date: 7 April 2021

Blurb: At home, Alex’s best friend is Kevin the cockapoo, although what he wants most of all is a friend at school. But that is harder than he ever expected. A touching story about learning that friendship isn’t one size fits all and is often found where you least expect it.

Everything is changing for 11-year-old Alex and, as an autistic person, change can be terrifying. With the first day of high school only a couple of months away, Alex is sure that having a friend by his side will help. So, he’s devised a plan – impress the kids at school by winning a trophy at the PAWS Dog Show with his trusty sidekick, Kevin. This should be a walk in the park . . . right?

Review: There is also a lot of talk about diversity in kids books and how important that kids see themselves in literature. Usually, they’re talking about race, however I realised that I didn’t see myself in many books. Then I read Paws by Kate Foster! This book had me in tears so many times and I’ve never felt so seen. So many of the feelings Alex has around friendships are the same as what I felt (and still feel).

One of the stand out thing about Paws is that it features an autistic character who is just navigating life. He has the same hopes and dreams of any other child. He just wants a friend, and to compete in the local dog show with his cockapoo, Kevin.

While this book features an autistic character, it’s not a story about autism. It’s a story about a kid in Grade Six trying to navigate life. He has the same worries about finishing primary school and moving to high school that almost every other kid in Grade Six has, as well as hopes and dreams for his future.

This is a book that should be in every school library and read widely as it’s a great story and goes a long way into breaking the stigma around autism.

I wanted to read this book so much that I ordered it from two different libraries! I’m currently reading it a second time.

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This is a list of books that I have read. I will update this post as I read more. If there are any amazing books you’ve read that should be added to this list, please let me know in the comments. I’m especially interested in positive representation and stories of late diagnosed autistic women.

With the fiction books, these are stories where the main character is identified as autistic or ADHD. There is another list with characters I think are neurospicy, however they aren’t identified as such. That post is here.

This is simply a list, I will add reviews as I get around to it.

Memoir

• Different, Not Less by Chloe Hayden
• Growing into Autism by Sandra Thom-Jones
• What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz
• Little Victories by Yvon Roy (parent of an autistic child)
• Late Bloomer by Clem Bastow
• The Year I Met My Brain by Matilda Boseley

Non-Fiction

• Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

Novels

• The Wonderful Thing about Phoenix Rose by Josephine Moon
• The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
• .Wishing on a Star by Mandy Baggot (main character is the mother of an autistic child, however I think she is autistic too!)
• Act Your Age Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

Middle Grade Novels

• Paws by Kate Foster
• Harriet Hound by Kate Foster
• The Unlikely Heroes Club by Kate Foster
• The Secret Science Society’s Spectacular Experiment by Kathy Hoopmann & Josie Montano
• The Secret Science Society in Space by Josie Montano & Kathy Hoopmann
• A Kind of Spark by Elle McNicoll
• The Thing About Oliver by Deborah Kelly (the main character is the sibling of an autistic brother)

Picture Books

• The Wobbly Wallaby and the Absolute Bandicoot by Pamela Jacqueline and Irene Brown
• Talking is not my thing by Rose Robbins
• It Was Supposed to be Sunny by Samantha Cotterill
• A Friend Like Mine by Samantha Warne (book about children with disability, not neurospicy specific)
• Alexander the Avoider by Nicole Filippone
• Roseanne the Seeker by Nicole Filippone
• Paisley the Perfectionist by Nicole Filippone
• Preston the Procrastinator by Nicole Filippone
• Some Brains by Nelly Thomas
• The Me You Don’t See by Sam Matthews
• The Big Hungry Tree by Jo Rothwell
• Unmasking Milie by Millie Carr & Polina Povshedna
• Forgetful Freddie by Manisha J Poudyal & Jonathon Klassen
• Why Johnny Doesn’t Flap: NT is OK! by Clay Morton, Gail Morton & Alex Merry
• Don’t Tell Me What to Do by Renee Connoulty

Middle Grade Non Fiction

• Perfectly Weird, Perfectly You by Camilla Pang

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This term is often applied to reading romance, especially the ‘bodice ripper’ books usually published by Mills & Boon, or for adults reading kids books when they don’t have kids.

I’m here to say to you, if these are the sorts of books you enjoy, read them with pride and don’t feel guilty about them.

Somewhere along the way, certain books were considered more acceptable to readers. Often these are ones that are considered of literary merit, and those that are more popular or for women are looked down on.

If I’m honest, I find many of those books that are considered acceptable or a book you must read before you die hard going and they aren’t to my taste at all. Does that make me any less of a bookworm? The simple answer is no.

I read all sorts of books from picture books to novels, from crime stories to romance, fiction and non-fiction. I read what I am in the mood for and what I enjoy, and there is absolutely no guilt in what I read… unless I’m reading and I should be doing something else, like my day job… Or it’s a book I’ve bought as a gift that I sneakily read before wrapping it up!

There are often questions in book groups asking for your guilty pleasure read and I can’t give an answer as I don’t feel guilty reading any of the books I read. I enjoy books of different styles and genre.

I’m here to say, read what you love. Read it with pride, and ditch the guilt. All reading should be a guilt-free pleasure.

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