There's a J In there… Somewhere!

One thing I’ve observed is the assumption that people, especially women, can do everything. This starts fairly early in life at school, where students who get top marks in all subjects get rewarded. This gives the message that we need to be able to do everything.

Then, as a teen, there is an expectation that you’ll do your school work and get good marks, then do chores around the house, extra-curricular activities, and, when you’re a certain age, get a job.

Then, when you’re an adult, there’s juggling a job, housework, bills, budgets, cooking dinner, and so much more. And to be a ‘successful’ adult, you can do certain things like paying the bills and managing money, keeping your house clean, tidy and organised, cook healthy meals, exercise, and keep working at your job… and that’s before you add kids and childcare into the mix.

A big thing with neurodivergence is struggling with executive functioning, part of that is struggling to manage all the things we are expected to do.

Being neurodivergent isn’t an excuse not to do things, as they do need doing, however it means we may need some additional support to get everything done.

That support could look like getting someone else to do the thing (such as getting a cleaner to do housework), having someone do the thing with you (often called body doubling), or a myriad of other supports that are available. This can include classes or lessons to learn skills that people assume we know at a particular age, but never learned for whatever reason. I know that there are some forms that I struggle to fill out, and having someone talk through them is really helpful and reduces the feeling of overwhelm.

Being told ‘you’re an adult, just do it’, isn’t helpful. There are times when we need some additional support and accommodations to get things done. There are times when we simply can’t just push through to get something done, we need some additional supports.

There is nothing wrong with needing some additional support to get things done. There are very few people who are actually good at doing everything. So if you need some extra help to get things done, reach out and find the supports that are going to help you (and yes, this is something I’m pretty bad at doing).