I had a realisation over the last 24 hours why so many things like business planning, and even goal setting, don’t work for me.
It comes down to pattern recognition…
This all started yesterday when I met someone who is doing something similar to what I want to do… only with crafts instead of creative writing & reading. Since our initial conversation, my mind has been whirring on all the things I would do if I had a studio to run programs and activities.
I know that I could do a business plan with this.
I could list the different workshops and programs I could offer.
I could do a financial forecast as I’m good with spreadsheets and numbers.
But there’s a roadblock.
I can come up with the best plans in the world, I can dream as big as the next person, however I don’t currently have the money or supports I need to make them happen.
What does this have to do with pattern recognition?
This is the pattern I’ve seen most of my life.
I will have a goal or dream, then the practical realities rear their ugly heads.
After I finished high school, I wanted to go to Europe and study and go on a literary tour… but a lack of funds meant that was never something that would actually happen, at least in my mind. Looking back, if I had thought it was a reality and spoken with my parents, then there may have been a way…
When I started my first business in 2002, I started with next to no money, and time and again, plans had to be shelved due to a lack of money to make it happen. I had some supports, but not as many as I probably needed, and that took money.
Even now, I have so many picture books that are not commercial enough for publishers that I would love to publish, I simply don’t have the money.
This brings me back to my idea of having a studio to run workshops, have a shop where I can sell some of the amazing indie books that are out there, and more… I simply don’t have the funds to make it happen. This is the pattern.
So, I stop dreaming and having big goals in any meaningful way.
I will think the big thoughts, and write down the plans, and no longer expect that anything will come of them.
This goes back to my post the other day about vision boards…
Without money and practical support, I work supporting the goals and dreams of people around me, and publish the books that I can afford and continue to make do.
I hope that one day, my pattern recognition will be proven false, but until then, I’ll keep ticking along the way I’ve been going…
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