I saw a post on Instagram this morning talking about peer pressure and how we often find it baffling. You can read the post here.
Growing up, I found peer pressure completely baffling.
I was told the rules, for example, don’t smoke cigarettes, especially under 18. I also had experience of my grandma smoking and I didn’t like the smell. So, when my peers offered me a cigarette, it was easy to say no as it wasn’t something that appealed to me.
Same with why I have never been drunk. I couldn’t understand the appeal for being that out of control, and then the whole idea of hangovers and throwing up. I still don’t understand why anyone would choose to do that to themselves.
There are also interests that my peers had. I simply didn’t watch the same TV shows or listen to the same music. I also wasn’t interested in the same books (everyone was reading Flowers in the Attic, I wasn’t interested in that series). As far as clothes, so much seemed uncomfortable, and we also weren’t in a position to buy the latest fashion anyway.
Peer pressure was always baffling to me. I didn’t understand why people would follow something just because everyone else was.
At the same time, I desperately wanted to fit in and be accepted.
I would often pretend I liked something when I didn’t understand it.
I would look something up (back in the 1990s, that wasn’t as easy as it is now), or force myself to attend an event because everyone else was.
It was exhausting, and I still didn’t fit in. I still wasn’t accepted, and it was baffling.
Even as an adult, I don’t follow trends. When Twitter and Facebook force ‘trending topics’ on me, I get annoyed as I’m not interested in them. The algorithms frustrate me as they show me things that are popular that often doesn’t appeal to me. They also annoy me in that they show me something just because a friend likes it, and I don’t operate that way. I like what I like, and what my friends like has little impact on that.
I remember those discussions about peer pressure at school and thinking ‘why is this a big deal?’ and nothing has changed.
Peer pressure still baffles me, and at the same time, I feel like society is trying to get me to fit into a box that simply doesn’t suit me and my brain. I get messages not to follow the crowd, then get given a hard time when I don’t or can’t.
From the discussion on Instagram, it seems I’m not alone.
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