There's a J In there… Somewhere!

Today is Mother’s Day here in Australia.

It’s a day I’ve never really enjoyed. Growing up, my mum would spend ages making things for the Mother’s Day stall, and she was one of the volunteers too! We had to be careful not to buy something she had made and try to hide our purchases from her. I admit that the variety of items on the stalls back then were better than the offerings when my kids were at school. I remember my kids complaining that everything on the Mother’s Day stall was pink, when I don’t like pink, my favourite colour is blue.

When I got married, trying to juggle Mother’s Day with my mum and mother-in-law was always fun, though nothing topped the gift we gave them 23 years ago when we told them their first grandchild was on the way!

When I became a mother, I felt like I was caught in the middle as Mother’s Day lunch was often at my parents’ place and I was expected to do stuff for my mum, while wishing I could have a break for the day.

For many years, my kids would spend Mother’s Day weekend with their dad, and I quite enjoyed the break, seeing them in the evening for dinner.

Now that my kids are grown, Mother’s Day isn’t a big deal at all.

This year, I had lunch with my mum, sister, and sister-in-law, but today isn’t going to be anything special. After all, I’ve already been buying my own present for years, if I wanted something.

The romanticism around Mother’s Day irritates me. It puts a pressure to be lovely and sweet, even when, as a mother, you just want a break. There’s also a pressure to buy presents, more stuff. Not to mention the pictures of what an ideal mother is.

There’s a unique motherguilt that comes when you don’t fit that box… especially as a mother who was undiagnosed neurodivergent until her kids were adults… I have never fit in the box, and those ‘touchy feely’ moments in the Mother’s Day ads have never been me.

So, I struggle with Mother’s Day. The idea versus the reality. It’s not an easy day, it never has been.

For all of you who are mothers, I hope you have a lovely day today, no matter what you are doing.