When I was about 7, I made a chocolate cake by myself for the first time. We were in Nepal and it was baked in the electric frying pan. I followed the recipe. I thought I had followed every step perfectly… but when we tried it, it was awful! It turned out that I had put in 2 tablespoons instead of 2 teaspoons of baking powder. I had misread the recipe, partly because no one explained the abbreviations to me.
This was a mistake I never made again. I have made that cake numerous times since, every time being aware that it’s a teaspoon that is required, not a tablespoon.
This is an illustration of how I often feel.
I feel like I have been given a recipe for life, and I follow that recipe, however it never works out. I wonder what is wrong with me that the recipe doesn’t work out.
I have read all the books, followed all the advice, attended all the webinars, and things simply don’t work out the way I was told that it would. This really confuses me. What am I doing wrong?
I wish it was as simple as realising that a teaspoon is needed instead of a tablespoon. I wish someone would explain the abbreviations to me.
I had thought that my AuDHD diagnosis would be that missing piece, however there is still no one to explain to me the abbreviations or the other information I need to make my life work.
I keep telling myself there is nothing wrong with me, that I am wired differently and am awesome. Some days, however, I still feel like there is something wrong as things still aren’t working out. I struggle to thrive.
I know I will get there, just as I worked out how to make the chocolate cake, even making a gluten free version for my kid… but today, I’m feeling like there is something wrong as things are simply not working out the way I was told they would.
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