A couple of days ago, I watched a video on YouTube by Orion Kelly called ‘Why I HATE Autism Awareness Day‘, and he had so many good points, I found myself nodding along, and also getting quite angry and frustrated.
One point he made is the call for autistic people to thrive, not just survive, and no one talking about what needs to be done to get there.
I kept thinking ‘So much this!’
I have been crying out for support for so many years. Support so that I can get out of survival mode and about to be amazing and thrive.
I am capable, I wouldn’t have got to 44 without a diagnosis if I wasn’t. I worked hard to learn everything I needed to in order to navigate life. I can cook, clean, work in a job, and so on. I learned skills so I could do what others thought I should have, and sometimes I look at what I know and compare it to others and shake my head at what I’ve learned.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. That doesn’t mean it’s not draining me of energy. That doesn’t mean it’s what lights me up.
I need support. I need help.
I need help to thrive and be amazing.
However, I keep getting told that I don’t qualify for help and support.
I keep being told that I’m too capable for the basic supports I need to move forward in life.
The funny things is that if I had enough money, I could pay for my own supports. I don’t have enough money, I also don’t have the supports to help me get to the point where I have enough money. It’s a vicious cycle.
I want to move from survive to thrive in my own life. I am determined to get there, to have a life I love, doing something that lights me up, to be able to be my amazing self.
It’s a journey, but I’ll get there… eventually.
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